Nostalgia and the Circe of Life

How many times have you heard your parents say ‘in our times things were so good’ or the ‘good old days! When they reminisced about the simplicity of life and how wholesome and uncomplicated life generally was. I didn’t understand then, but I can now understand where they were coming from. Penny for a loaf of bread, 100 pennies for a carat of diamond! It seemed exactly as crazy then as it seems now.

Fast forward to our childhood , we still have the wholesomeness of climbing a tree followed by gradual introduction to internet. We rode bikes , played all sort of outdoor games and most of the things our parents did as children. Then our world changed. Internet, Nokia 3610 and rest is history. Yes, we are the generation that watched pictures download pixel by pixel and files download page by page. So a word of advice, do not test our patience. We used to worry about our 30 hour internet package finishing which was supposed to last us all month long.

Then comes the current generation, which can also be labelled as I am bored generation which needs constant simulation and is spoilt for choices. While kids still do enjoy the outdoor things, but more often than not it is a result of mindful parenting and persistence. Keeping them away from the screen is a constant battle similar to how I battle my addiction with desserts. But no matter how many times we complain about the internet, no one can deny how much it has contributed to our quality of life . Each time I have a video chat with my family, I send a prayer of gratitude to those who made this possible. Made the distance seem so less. I still remember the era of TRUNK call and how expensive it was to have even a 3 min conversation. Now my mom puts me on hold if even a remotely interesting thing comes her way. My value of calls have depreciated so much. 🙂

Sometimes I cannot help but wonder how much has changed with each generation. I am almost scared to imagine how different things will be 20 years down the line. But one thing which is constant, is change itself and it is only if we adapt to the changing times especially in terms of mindset, we can really connect with the next generation.

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Lahore Motorway Incident

Will the Women in Pakistan ever be safe from harassment?

The sun sets and their fangs come out👹

As a girl in Pakistan, we all have been conditioned to behave a certain way. We have in-fact adapted our life around the perpetrators so much that they they now think it’s their birth right to tease any unaccompanied woman.

All girls have been harassed and felt vulnerable at some points of their life if not frequently or even daily. I personally became numb to it to deal with my surroundings and stayed in my bubble and played along the unwritten rules of our society aka back by sunset or go with a male chaperone or not go at all. Never walked alone anywhere unnecessarily. Learned to ignore the constant stares. It is these small things which become so suffocating that makes most women , whoever can manage, want to leave country and enjoy simple pleasures of life.

Like go for a dinner date with friends without worrying about how late it may get, go for a long walk or hike or use public transportation without the ogling eyes. Small things but yet so liberating. Perhaps that’s what you mean by quality of life.

While in Karachi, I had the privilege to be able to take the cautious measures which the society dictated but a-lot of women can’t. Their circumstances don’t allow it. I feel things have only deteriorated with time. Our parent’s childhood was better than ours and our childhood was better than our children’s. And this can’t keep going on.

What I desperately want is the same fear in the perpetrators of being caught that we have of them. Is it too much to ask? In today’s time and age, so much can easily be implemented. SOS signals to the nearest police station, snapshot of harassers and more. Even the knowledge that details can be shared at a click of a button can deter so many crimes. Only when there is fear of accountability, the movement will take a step in the right direction. While this is only part of the solution, the bigger problem would be to instil the right values , education and curb the culture of harassment, which can take years, if not decades to fix.

What do you guys propose? How can we systematically change the system?

https://www.dawn.com/news/1579054

Netflix & Binge Watching

During the pandemic we are all binging unapologetically. Minutes turn to episodes and episodes to season. Before you know it , you have binged 4-5 hours on Netflix. I am not sure I would call it a time well spent or a day wasted . But considering the current scenario, cannot be more grateful for the distraction.

Unfortunately, the excess screen time has taken a toll on my body. Headache and watery eyes to start with. It became so bad that I decided to give myself a break from the screen. Besides calls and whatsapp messages, No TV or phone. And it helped. Immediately.

After 2 -3 days my eyes seemed well rested and the perpetual headache was gone. Meanwhile, I took solace in my books and it was so refreshing. I missed reading. Have always been an avid reader but had been putting it in the back burner for quite some time. I guess it’s now time to reconnect with my books . My body has certainly made that clear. !

PS : Serves me right for being a hypocrite and hiding my daughter’s Ipad. Also Friends playing in the background does not count. It is like Kenny G for my soul…

For the love of Rain and Chai

While my friends are sweating buckets in Pakistan and Middle east, I cannot be more grateful for the weather in Nigeria. It is raining almost every day. Rain, cool winds and then a clear bright sky! And what I love the most, It doesn’t stay cloudy for long. So pretty much perfect weather.

Where I am coming from , it hardly rains . Summers are brutal and when it does somehow magically rains, we celebrate. And we celebrate the only we know how to celebrate. We eat . We instantly crave Pakoras (Fritters) and hot Chai. Rains and pakoras go together like salt and pepper in our local lingo. You say rain and I can bet within 2 mins someone will suggest pakoras.

Great weather is a blessing . It lifts and changes your mood. Like a big bear hug or a hot brownie with vanilla ice cream on the side. While we are in quarantine and feeling low, the weather is literally like a breath of fresh air. The rains here are expected to continue for the next two three months, so having deep fried pakoras might not be wise but a hot, strong cup of tea will definitely be my choice of poison.

Do you know that most DESI’s take their tea very seriously? Everyone likes it a specific way …I like mine strong, milk added towards the end and boiled some more , and then once the stove is switched off, cover the pot and let it sit for 3-4 mins for the flavours to really seep in. Making a perfect cup of tea can be a hit or miss. What is yours ?

Virtual Love and Birthdays

In the morning I wake up, and then I put on my makeup….

This is something which most of us haven’t been doing for a while. I miss dressing up and I for one don’t even dress up much to start with.

So on my birthday few days back, I did two things, stepped out of the COVID approved fashion attire aka Pjs, and then put on some lipstick. And it felt GOOD! The birthday girl also plucked her eyebrows to the best of her abilities. After all, you got to look nice on those video calls

It’s a tough time for the world. The constant stress of health and safety for yourself and loved ones, economical challenges and trying to stay level headed does take a toll.

It is the virtual love which has kept us all going. And we have to make an effort to reach out. Call your friends and family, reach out more than you normally do. It is so easy to slip into depression when you are home all day and have little to zero social interaction. You never know, your call may be the highlight of someone’s day.